


why are you here

by droogsandultraviolence



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blood Kink, Bondage, Choking, Degradation, Dom/sub, Dominant Armitage Hux, F/M, Fluff, Force Choking (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Orgasm Control, Power Play, Shameless Smut, Smut, Spanking, Spit Kink, Submissive Reader, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:02:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24475450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/droogsandultraviolence/pseuds/droogsandultraviolence
Summary: armitage hux/reader.loosely inspired by Fix Your Attitude by Kassanovellaloosely based on the song why are you here by machine gun kelly
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Reader
Comments: 33
Kudos: 53





	1. search

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fix Your Attitude](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961706) by [kassanovella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kassanovella/pseuds/kassanovella). 



you weren’t much to the first order. often searching for new places to find recruits. a searcher, they called you. nothing more, nothing less. you had never meant anything to anyone other than yourself and the orange cat that had often been seen wandering around starkiller. feeding it small scraps here and there even if it was a bit pudgy already. the owner was unknown, you would fall asleep with the cat curled at your feet, and when you’d wake the next morning, she’d be gone, possibly off to it’s owners quarters. only one friend in the whole ship. her name was quinn. last name unknown. nobody knew their last name here, troopers didn’t even have a real name to begin with. quinn was extraordinary, bright magenta hair, a sweet tooth like no other, and spatterings of freckles all on her cheeks. you had previously thought the cat belonged to her. no trace of fur on her uniform though, she couldn’t belong to quinn. whomever her owner was, had to take a lot of care of her, no tangles in her fur, nobody ever had fur on their uniform. or that you’d never noticed it. the sweet kitty definitely wasn’t ren’s as he would probably find it clingy and obnoxious.

as you sat at your station, searching through civilizations on your data pad, a loud thud startled you out of the trance you had been in. general hux. he had loudly dropped his blaster onto your desk. 

“y/n. why aren’t you finished yet?” he asks.

“i’m sorry general, it’s very difficult to find any civilizations that would be willing to give up their base for us. as the whole galaxy is afraid of the first order.” you say, calmly. scanning your eyes up and down him, you see it! an orange hair that wasn’t his own! you reach up and pluck it from his uniform. 

“the cat! she belongs to you!” you whisper yell. his eyes widen and he grabs your wrist tightly and drags you away from your station, dropping the loose fur and your datapad, cracking the screen. general hux drags you into a storage room, hand leaving finger shaped bruises on your wrist. 

“how do you know about millicent!?” he asks, letting go of your wrist.

“millicent? that’s her name? it’s very pretty.”

“yes, thank you, now answer the question.” he demands. 

“she comes to my quarters at night, i give her spare scraps.” you put your hands up defensively.

“she doesn’t need scraps! she is very well fed. i would appreciate it if you would stop feeding my cat!” he says, getting closer to your face. 

as he does so, a thought pops into your head, wondering what his lips would feel like against your neck, your cheeks heat and blush a deep red. 

“get back to work.” he orders, narrowing his eyes and waving his hand, opening the door, without touching the handle.  _ the force. _

“my data pad is broken general.” you say, cheeks still hot, blistering beneath your skin. fingerprint bruises stinging from his touch.

“fine. you’re done for the day. i will see if i can get you a new one.” he groans. he motions for you to leave, and you do. his eyes scan you, burning into your skin, he bites his lip and leaves the small room, shutting the door. he picks up his blaster from your desk and heads to his quarters. it was late. 

hux enters the door to his quarters, bed made nicely, unlike ren’s. shutting the door, he presses his back against it. running a hand through his ginger hair.  _ sigh. _ he begins to look for millicent. making kissy noises to try and draw her near. nothing, no small ‘prrs’ or chirps. just silence. waving his hand, the sheet covering underneath his bed rises, he leans down and groans. knowing exactly where his beloved kitty is. he fixes himself and walks out, shutting the door behind him. 

searching for your quarters, he knocks on the door. 

“just a second!” you call out, you had just gotten out of the shower, you wrap a towel around yourself, and walk to the door, thinking it was quinn, you swing the door open and your jaw drops.  _ hux. _ his nose twitches a bit. 

“you’re indecent. get dressed.” he orders, looking you up and down, his mouth in the classic scowl type face he always had. he always looked angry or bored. you rolled your eyes and grab a cowl and some shorts, you step into the bathroom and slide them on. still feeling hux’s eyes on you.  _ was he watching you?  _

“where is she?” he speaks, looking at you as you exit the bathroom. 

“who? millicent?” you respond, drying your hair with a towel. 

“yes!” 

“hell, i don’t know. i haven’t seen her since last night.” you shrug. 

he groans and looks under your bed, he pushes the door shut and opens your closet door. nothing. he sighs. 

“if you find her please re-” he starts to say. he pauses when the door swings open to reveal commander ren, holding the same orange cat. 

“hux, keep your pet out of my quarters.” he spits from behind the mask. 

“yes sir. it won’t happen again.” hux takes the cat and places her on your bed. the fear in his voice almost makes you feel sorry for him. he almost sounds submissive. kylo turns, closes the door and leaves.

“i’m sorry for bothering you.” he turns to face you.

you nod and think, “ _ probably the first time he’s apologized to anyone other than ren.”  _

he glares, had he heard your thought? 

your eyes trail down him, stopping at his hands.  _ “wonder how his hands would feel around my throat.” _

he looks at you, and almost as quickly as you could realize he was looking at you, his hand was around your throat, squeezing. he leans down next to your ear. 

“i can hear your thoughts. don’t think such sinful things,  _ slut _ . unless you want action to be done about them.” he growls. you can barely manage a response, all you manage is to squeak out a soft, gasping moan of 

_ “yes general.” _

the grip on your throat is released, he picks up his cat and looks back at you. you cough a bit. and he smirks. leaving the room. you are left with just one question you were too afraid to ask.

_ had he enjoyed what just happened? _


	2. thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loosely inspired by fix your attitude by @kassanovella. hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote the end of this while watching rocketman for the 800th time. please enjoy and send to your friends!! also, i take requests if you would like to send one in just message my tumblr @indicakylo

the next day you couldn't help but fall asleep at your station, without a new data pad, you couldn’t do anything. drifting off slowly into sleep, an abrupt tap startles you awake. thinking it’s hux, you immediately try to look awake.

_ quinn. _

“are you okay, y/n? you keep falling asleep.” she asks. her face showing genuine concern. 

“i’m fine, i just didn’t get any sleep last night.” you respond, smiling a bit. she nods. 

that was the truth. with each closing of your eyes, you saw  _ him.  _ felt his hand around your throat. saw that damn  _ smirk _ . the one he had left you with last night. the smirk that shot right down to your core.

you didn’t pleasure yourself because of it, you couldn’t. touching yourself because of your boss? no way.

quinn looks at you, and says something about lunch. you glance behind her and see him. he’s not hard to miss with his bright orange hair. marching in your general direction. you try to think clean things, you simply can’t, just thinking about how he made you feel last night. and his fucking smirk. god. he walks right to you. 

“y/n, i have decided to promote you. you will now be my personal assistant.” he nods slightly and walks away. 

“what the fuck! how did you manage to get promoted to the generals assistant? i’ve been here longer than you and i haven’t been promoted once!” quinn says, laughing a bit. she pauses.

“are you sleeping with hux?” she whispers. your eyes widen and you shake your head.

“no way. nuh uh. no chance quinn.” you reply. 

“really? cause i saw him pull you into a storage closet yesterday and you were in there for a bit.” 

you roll your eyes. “he pulled me in there to talk about his cat. she comes to my quarters at night and i didn’t know who she belonged to.”

“if you say so.”

hux walks back towards you. 

“follow me.” he instructs. you roll your eyes again and follow him. 

the walk was quiet. only hearing your own footsteps. he walked very gracefully, arms behind his back, even in boots his steps were quiet. hux walked slower so you could keep up. he leads you to his office. it was decent sized, not much decoration, only a small framed photo on his desk, perhaps of millicent. a smaller desk was on the opposite side of the room, a datapad on top of it, as well as a single flower in a vase.

“this is your desk. the job is simple, take notes during meetings, bring me things if i ask for them, listen, and only speak when spoken to. do you understand?” he asks, tone of voice softer than normal. you nod.

“this is a very personal job, i will learn information about you personal or not. as you will learn about me. the datapad is for notes. nothing else. you may have a few pictures on your desk if you’d like. otherwise i have nothing else to say.” he speaks, sitting down behind his desk. you sit down behind your own. looking around, the walls are grey with a few red accents. a large mirror hung on the wall as well. not much else. a table in the corner with various sized bottles of liquid in them, a few small glasses as well. 

turning your head to look at general hux, his gloves are removed and sat on the desk beside the datapad he was using. large viewports behind him, a whole galaxy outside the ship. your mind starts to wander, thinking of the incident that occurred the night before. he looks up at you. 

“stop that.” he says, dropping his datapad onto his desk. 

“i’m not doing anything!” you exclaim. 

“yes you are! you’re thinking like a slut again.” he stands up. you roll your eyes. 

“that’s not my fault, that was on you. you didn’t have to act on anything! how the hell was i supposed to know that you could hear what i was thinking!” you stand up as well. he walks towards you. you walk from around your desk and towards the door. trying to open it, it locks. 

_ “fuck you and the fucking force.”  _ you think. hux grabs your wrist and pulls you toward him. 

“maybe i wanted to act on your thought. did you  _ think _ of that?” he whispers, his grip on your wrist tightening. 

“i heard what you thought in the closet too. something about my lips on your neck?” he leans close to your neck, his other hand placed on your hip. you nod. he pulls back. 

he looks you up and down, his eyes stopping at your lips. he smirks and leans in, lips not touching yours, but close to it. he kisses you roughly, his hand squeezes your hip, biting your lip. the hand holding onto your wrist is now in your hair, pulling softly. you moan softly as he pulls your hair. his tongue slipping in between your lips, pulling you closer. he picks you up and carries you towards your desk, sitting you on top of it. knocking the vase over. his lips leave yours and trail down to your neck, hovering. 

“is this what you want?” he asks. you nod and bite your lip. he pulls your hair roughly. 

“use your words.” 

“yes!” you say, halfway moaning. 

“yes  _ what?”  _ he spits.

“yes general.” 

his lips are soft against your neck, he bites and sucks marks into your skin. your hands in his hair. he slides his hand under your top. touching your skin, causing you to shiver. he pulls away. he steps back and adjusts himself in the mirror. he turns and smirks at you again. hux walks towards his desk with the same grace from before and grabs a key. he places the key in your hand.

“my quarters, 9 o clock. don’t be late. wear something lightweight with nothing underneath it. you’re done for today. go.” he waves his hand and the door opens. you nod and stick the key into your pocket. head still fuzzy from what had just happened. you spot quinn. she runs up to you. 

“how is working with general hu- what the hell happened to you?” she laughs a bit, looking at your neck. 

“what do you mean?” you ask, she grabs your hand and pulls you to a nearby bathroom. you inspect the marks on your neck. 

“son of a bitch!” you yell. quinn laughs. 

“is that from hux?” she whispers. you nod a bit. 

“you cant tell anyone about this or i swear i will kill you. if i don’t then he will.” you say. walking out of the bathroom. rushing to your quarters. 

you step inside and remove your uniform. needing to shower. you step under the blazing water. 

_ how hot does water have to be to wash away sin? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you guys enjoyed this! i got stuck a bit but yeah! all is well! share this with your friends and follow me on tik tok @genarmihux for updates! and my main @cocaineskarsgard


	3. yes general

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hux invites y/n to his quarters. smut ensues.

it had been a while since you had gotten out of the shower. you had decided to rid the hair from your legs. slipping on a dark grey dress, lightweight, nothing underneath. you glance down at the keys on you bedside table. you pick them up and leave out the door. wandering the halls, looking for hux’s quarters. 

you’re stopped by a group of troopers. 

“you- what are you doing out?” the first one asks.

“general hux asked to see me.” you respond.

“hurry up then. move along.” 

you nod and walk faster. worried now if you would be late. 

you come to his door. wanting to knock, but then remembering he gave you keys. you unlock the door. opening it to reveal his quarters. neat and tidy, a small bar area with various alcohols behind it. his bed neatly made and his room smelled like fresh linens and coffee, with a hint of burning wood from the large fireplace. 

hux steps out from his bathroom, wearing pants but no top, tattoos on his forearm and shoulder.

“good you made it on time.” he says, his tone still gentle like before.

“i got stopped by troopers.” you reply, smiling softly.

he walks toward you and kisses your lips, softly. your hand softly gripping his forearm.

“i didn’t know you had tattoos?” you ask, glancing down at the one on his forearm. a red first order symbol, another one going vertical on the outside of his wrist. a phrase of sorts.

“what does this say?” you ask, tracing your finger along the ink.

“it’s sith, it means justice.” he replies. tucking a piece of hair behind you ear. you lean into his touch softly.

“y/n?”

“yes general?” he smiles softly.

“have a drink with me.” he says, taking your hand. leading you to the bar. 

“you don’t always have to call me general when we’re alone.” hux says while pouring you a glass of desert wine.

“well what should i call you then.” you ask, taking the glass from him.

“armitage.” he smiles softly. clinking your glasses together. sipping the liquid slowly. 

“armitage?” 

“yes?”

“why did you ask me to come here?” you question, sipping your drink. he strides from around the bar, into the seat next to you. leaning in close to whisper.

“i’m going to fuck you.” your cheeks heat up, flushing red. 

“but first some ground rules.” he speaks, more order in his tone. 

“like?”

“establishing a safe word, your limits and things you aren’t okay with. things you would like me to do to you. basic things. if you cannot think of a safe word, we can use the color system.” he says, finishing off his wine.

“color system?” you ask, you were no stranger to sex, you’ve had your fair share of one nighters. 

“green means good, like continue what you’re doing, yellow means you need a break, red means stop what you’re doing. if you say red, i will ask if you would like to stop everything and just relax. or if you just don’t like what i was doing.” you nod with understanding.

“now i’m going to ask you questions regarding your interests.” he says, patting your knee. 

“would you be willing to be tied up?” you nod.

“spat on?” you hesitate for a moment then nod.

“spanked or whipped? or perhaps both?” 

“yes.”

“being choked” you nod, crossing your legs at the thought.

“blood?” you nod reluctantly.

“are you opposed to anal?” you bite your lip.

“that is a maybe. i’ve never done it. so.”

“overstimulation?” 

“yes.”

“good. that’s all the main ones.” he says. hux takes your hand and leads you to his bed. 

“one request armitage.”

“yes darling?”

“no marks above the shoulders please?” he nods. pressing gentle kisses to your shoulder. he places his hand on your thigh, his tongue trailing up your neck slowly. his slender fingers sliding under the hem of your dress. your legs spread slightly at his touch. he stands and takes your hands, pulling you up. he presses his hardening cock against you, slipping his hands under the dress. tracing circles onto the skin of your hips. he kisses you, pulling you as close to him as you can get. his hands still on your skin. he pulls away, breathless.

“can i take this off? i want to see you darling.” he purrs. you nod and allow him to remove the dress. watching it fall to the floor. he looks you up and down. admiring your body. 

“stay here.” he orders, walking away to a closet at the back of his quarters. he grabs a few items, you being unaware of what they were. he returns, standing in front of you. holding rope, a blindfold and something else. a leather crop of sorts. he begins by slipping g the blindfold over your eyes.

“wrists behind your back pet.” he instructs. you don’t budge. he pulls your head back by your hair roughly. 

“i know you can take orders better than that slut.” he says, spitting onto your breasts. you quickly oblige. hux releases your hair and proceeds to tie your wrists. leaving a small amount of rope hanging. possibly for him to grab while fucking you. he grabs your forearm lightly and lays you face first onto the bed, your knees touching the floor, bent over. 

“since you don’t want to listen. i have to punish you.” he speaks, trailing the crop down your spine, lightly hitting it against your tailbone. trailing it down further to your bare cheek. the light trailing stops and the feeling of it against your skin is gone. then suddenly it’s back, only in a quick burst. 

“now slut. tell me why you’re being punished.”

you don’t answer.

_ smack. _

the crop is smacked against your ass again. only a small sting.

“answer me.”

you bite your lip and stay quiet.

_ smack. smack. _

two that time, causing a soft moan to escape your mouth. 

“if you don’t answer the crop goes and it will be my hand punishing you. which i guarantee you, will be much much worse.” armitage growls. 

still no response. 

hux sets the crop down on the bed next to you. he softly places his hand on your ass. softly rubbing the skin, lifting his hand, it comes down with a harsher smack than the crop. that one hurt. enough to make you wince.

“now, are you going to answer my question pet?”

silence.

he spanks you again. and again. and again. with each one getting harder than the last. he pauses for a moment to spit on you. keeping his hand in place on you ass.

“answer. me. now.” he orders, voice now stern and strict.

“i-i didn’t listen to you armitage.” you answer, he pulls your hair and your up, pressed against him.

“that’s general to you pet.” he speaks, before lifting you up and placing you on the bed, undoing his pants, only enough to pull his cock out, he nudges your legs open. slowly teasing your pussy. your face is pressed against his pillows, and you beg softly. 

“please general, please i need this, i’ll be a good girl.” it sounds almost pathetic coming from you. he laughs a bit and you already know he’s smirking. that god awful smirk that got you here in the first place. his hands grip onto your hips as he slides his cock inside you. the two of you moaning.

“fuck you feel so good.” hux moans. slowly pulling out, you whine at the feeling. he thrusts his cock back into you roughly. your back arches as he pounds into you. 

the only sounds filling the room are moans from the both of you. hux moves his hands from your hips to the loose piece of rope, tugging on it harshly. making you wince as the rope rubs against your skin. 

the feeling of a hand around your throat causes you to moan. not realizing that there wasn’t even a hand there. 

“fuck you’re such a good fuck toy.” hux moans, spanking you again. your walls squeezing around him. 

“fuck i’m close.” he growls. his pace quickening, pulling harder on the rope. the force grip on your throat tightening. bringing you closer to the edge.

“general- fuck, please let me cum.” you whine. he fucks you harder. 

“cum baby. fuck please babygirl.” he practically begs. 

with a few more thrusts, you release, coming down from your high as he spills his seed into you. 

“holy fuck.” he says, pulling out. untying your wrists, kissing the small amount of rope burn on them. he turns you over and kisses you gently, removing the blindfold. 

“was everything okay? are you okay? was it too much?” he asks, pulling you close, wrapping his arms around your waist. kissing the top of your head. 

“no- no it was great.” you smile, laying your head on his chest. listening to his heartbeat. 

“okay good. sorry about the rope burn.” he smiles.

you laugh a bit and kiss him softly. laying your head down on his chest again. 

“armitage?”

“yes darling?”

“thank you.”

“you’re welcome.”

you close your eyes as he plays with your hair. slowly drifting off to sleep. 

his voice ringing in your head. 

_ darling.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there’s going to be more action and drama/angst in this. i just wanted to get the first smut chapter out. there are some big plans for this fic.


	4. cleanse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you shower with hux and have a meeting with ren.

awakening the following morning to small kisses to your shoulder. 

“good morning.” hux smiles.

“morning.” you return. 

“would you like breakfast?” he stands, offering his hand to you.

“sure.” you smile, taking his hand. you wince at the pain in your hips and abdomen. 

“are you alright?”

“just sore.” you say, standing slowly. you look around for your dress, but it’s nowhere to be found. 

“here, i had someone go to your quarters and get you some clothes. would you like to shower before breakfast?” he asks, kissing the top of your head. you nod softly. heading to the bathroom. he follows.

“what are you doing?” you ask, eyes wide.

“you don’t mind do you?” he replies, stripping of his pants, and you finally get to see all of him. swallowing heavily. he smirks again.

“impressed?”

“a bit, yeah.” you smile. the water turns on as hux steps closer to you.

“how hot do you like it?” 

“very.” you step to your tip toes and kiss him softly. his arms wrap around your waist. he takes your hand and steps into the large shower, the room filling with steam. the water stings against the rope burn. you wince a bit.

“i apologize for the rope burn darling. i just couldn’t help myself.” armitage says, kissing the red marks around your wrists. you hoped someone had grabbed you long sleeves. 

“i have to travel somewhere today. i’m not sure when i will be back, but when i do come back. you will come stay with me in my quarters. do you understand?” he speaks. it confuses you on how he can go from being so gentle to being so orderly so quickly.

“yes sir. i understand.” you smile, kissing the skin you could reach without standing on your toes. kissing to his collarbone. sucking a bruise into his pale skin. he trails his hands to your ass, grabbing it softly. you kiss downwards. slowly sinking to your knees, out of the way of the water. you look up at him and wrap your hand around his cock. stroking it slowly. his fingers grab a fistful if your hair and he moans. 

“go on darling. suck me off.” he tugs at your hair. you do as told, not wanting to be punished again, you were sore from last night as is. you weren’t sure you could sit down. 

taking as much of him into your throat, using your hands for the rest. his moans fill the room, mixed with the sound of the running water. you slowly work your tongue around him, pulling away, going back. slow, steadily. he growls, a primal instinct releasing. gripping your hair tightly, he thrusts into your mouth. you let your jaw relax and just take it. allowing him to face fuck you. his moans are louder now. taking every inch of his cock now. his thrusts quicken, and then he stills. spilling his cum into your throat. and the taste is so authentically armitage. sweet with a hint of saltiness, bitter as well. 

“swallow.” he says, pulling his cock from your mouth. you do as told. swallowing every last drop of him. he helps you to your feet and kisses you softly. lovely. you could love him. you truly could. a feeling you never knew you could experience with someone like him. he pulls you under the steaming water, kissing you again, lips you are now familiar with.

“mine.” he purrs against your lips. you smile.

“yours.” you respond, pecking his lips. he reaches around you and grabs the shampoo, pouring some onto his hands, you go to grab the bottle, but you’re stopped by the force. he slowly starts to wash your hair. his hands gentle now compared to the roughness in which he pulls your hair. you close your eyes as he washes your locks. it always feels so much better when someone else does it. he helps rinse your hair. applying conditioner after. you take the shampoo from him and smile. 

“my turn.” he laughs a bit. he lets you wash his bright hair. rinsing it, he washes himself, you wash your body. he turns off the water and steps out, holding a towel for you. he wraps it around you and grabs his own. 

“armitage, where are you going later?”

“i have to meet someone in coruscant for business.” he says, dressing himself in a sleek black suit, his hair slightly curled. you dry his hair slightly. backing up, you dress yourself, slipping on a short black skirt, with a long sleeve black shirt to

match, black undergarments as well. armitage looks you up and down. 

“it’s missing something.” he says. he grabs a gold ring from the bathroom counter. slipping it onto your middle finger. 

“there we go.” he smiles, kissing your hand. 

_ “his ring? what for?”  _ you think.

“so you can show people. so they understand that you’re unavailable.” he says, fixing his hair, slicked back. he looks so professional while wearing a suit.

“unavailable?”

“you ask too many questions. you aren’t allowed to fuck anyone else while you’re with me.”

“with you? as in how?”

“my girl.” he says, straightening his tie.  _ his girl. _ that’s not anything you ever thought you’d hear.

“there is a meeting with ren and general pryde today. i want you to go and take notes. i’ll be taking my datapad with me. send me the notes after the meeting is over. cover up your marks, make sure you look professional.” he kisses you softly, his hand on the back of your neck. 

a few hours later, you’re sat in a large conference room with supreme leader kylo ren and general pryde. twisting the gold ring on your finger. 

“ms. y/n, thank you very much for transmitting the information to general hux.” general pryde says.

“it’s no issue. he did promote me to his assistant. so you will be seeing me at meetings alongside him.” you speak, professionalism in your tone. 

you discuss matters with them such as finding the rebel base, what they are going to do about rey, kylo becoming supreme leader due to snoke’s death. something was said about something, it caused ren to get upset. igniting his saber and pointing it at general pryde. how you'd hate to be at prydes end of it. 

you drift off into thought after ren had calmed down, still taking your notes. thinking about the events of last night. you stop for a moment and massage your wrists. a sharp pain shoots through your head, causing you to wince. feeling kylo’s eyes on you.

“general pryde you are dismissed.” ren states. pryde leaves with a nod. closing the door.

“you’re something aren’t you y/n.”

“what- what do you mean?” you say, closing your eyes from the pain.

“you slept with general hux. is that how you got your position?”

“no it is not. please get out of my head.” this didn’t hurt when hux did this. the pain subdues. you are able to look at ren now. 

“you must be careful with your friend, quinn is it?” he says, taking off his mask. you are in awe at what is under the metal of his mask, dark black hair, brown eyes, he was very attractive. 

“what is that supposed to mean?” 

“she’s a traitor to you. you’ll see. you are dismissed.” he says. you leave. confused. deciding to just head to your quarters. sending the details to hux.

_ would quinn betray you? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter five might be up like super late tonight or like 2-3 am it’s gonna be big.


	5. betrayal

hux returned three days later. a silver lightsaber hilt attached to his belt. you hear of his arrival through another person on the ship. rushing to his quarters to see him. opening the door, you spot quinn, kissing him. 

“i’ll do anything general please just- i need a promotion. i can do so much better than y/n” she says, undoing the zipper on his pants. 

“armitage?” you say, voice breaking. tears welling in your eyes. 

“wait stop- it’s not what it looks like- i don’t want this from her.” he says, it’s already too late. you walk away. quinn follows, into the main commons area you sit down on a bench, crying. she walks in front of you. 

“you know that he doesn’t  _ want  _ you right?” 

“shut up quinn.” you mutter. shutting your eyes. ren walks down the hallway. curious. and you wish you had a saber so you could kill her. rens saber coming off his belt, down the hallway. landing in your hand. you look at it. then to quinn.

“how- how did you do that?” she asks, her voice shaking. 

“i don’t know but it doesn’t matter.” you say, standing, igniting the saber. quinn stands and starts backing away slowly. you swing it in her direction, narrowly missing her. 

_ “god i wish she would just stay still” _ anger courses through you. she freezes. tears streaming down her cheeks.

“please y/n don’t do this- i’m sorry. please.”

“your pleas won’t help you now.” you spit before stabbing the blade into her abdomen. blood spilling from her mouth. you spot hux walking towards you. pointing the saber towards him. 

“you filthy scoundrel! how could you allow her to do that?” you yell, probably causing a scene, you didn’t care. swinging the saber towards him, he quickly ignites his and guards himself. 

“y/n please! i didn’t know she would do that. i could never betray you. i don’t want to hurt you.” he says. you keep swinging the saber, each attempt being blocked by his. attempting to force him back, down on the ground. he falls, saber falling from his hand. you point the end towards his face.

“i hate you.” you spit, extinguishing the saber, you walk away. stopping ren. 

“i apologize for taking this from you.” you hand his saber back to him. you turn to walk away, he grabs your wrist and pulls you to his quarters.

as soon as you are in his room, he pulls off his helmet, dropping it onto the ground. kissing you feverishly. tugging at your clothes, removing them. he grabs your thighs.

“jump” he orders, voice deep.

you oblige wrapping your legs around his waist, he pulls his cock out and pushes it into you. arching you’re back, pressing against him as he enters you. 

“fuck-” you moan, hand tangling in his hair as he fucks you against the door. 

“do you like that? hm?” he growls.

“y-yes commander!” you moan, leaning forward to kiss the skin of his neck. stifling your moans. he fucks you and it seems like it’s been hours, he pulls out and puts you down.

“on your knees. now.” he orders. you obey, licking around the head of his cock, sucking down his cock, his moans are loud, his hands are rough in your hair. he releases his seed into your mouth. you swallow. the taste of salt permeating your tastebuds. he tells you to dress yourself, tucking his cock back into his pants. grabbing his helmet, putting it back on. 

“come with me.” he says, ordering you out. he follows. 

you walk down to your quarters having to pass the medical wing. hearing screams of pain from quinn. it brings a smile to your face. you are told to pack a bag of clothes and to follow ren.

“i’m sorry but where are we going?” 

“none of your business.” he spits.

following him again to a small ship. having to jog to keep up with him. you take off. headed to an unknown location. you look over at ren in the pilots chair. 

“will you please tell me where you’re taking me?” 

“i’m getting something for you.” 

what seemed like days passed. you finally are able to exit the ship, onto a planet that you did not know. 

“follow me.” he says. leading you into a cave, a cave covered with crystals. 

“pick one. any color.” he says, removing his mask. you wander, looking around. you stop at the ruby red shades. pointing to one. he nods, and someone comes in and breaks it off, handing it to you. ren leads you to another location. different hilts to choose from, you look at him.

“am i getting a lightsaber?” you ask, trying to contain your excitement. 

“yes, so in case anything like before happens again, you don’t take mine. you will begin training with me when we get back to starkiller. you must learn how to use the force.” 

_ the force. _

you pick a black and silver hilt with red accents, putting the crystal in. igniting it. feeling more powerful than before. you nod and look at ren. he pays for it then you get back to the ship. keeping hold of your new saber the whole time. 

“thank you.” you smile softly. rens face set as stone. cold. 

“don’t mention it.” the time passes a lot faster this time. you stand as you arrive back on starkiller. ren escorts you off the ship, standing by your side. hux watches from a distance. 

_ how could you betray him? was this really betrayal or is it what he deserved? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i opted for no chapter summary. i apologize if this chapter seems rushed? idk i was just trying to get this one out because it’s been KILLING ME to not have people know


	6. we can never be friends.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the reader trains and there’s a party on starkiller

_ you’re sweating, your fingers glide against the floor as you slide back, standing again, running towards ren. attempting to strike him with your saber, he blocks it with his own. _

_ “god damnit!” you yell. _

_ “you aren’t trying hard enough. use the force. do t be afraid of it.” ren says. you reach your hand out and use it to push him back, going to strike at his side. stopping yourself before you can hit him.  _

_ “very good. that’s enough for today.” ren says, extinguishing his saber, you do the same. you push your hair out of your face, leaving the training quarters. wearing a black long sleeve with black shorts and black boots. marching down to your quarters. desperate for a shower. you spot her.  _

_ quinn. _

_ you snarl your nose. ren following behind you.  _

_ “kylo i want to kill her.” _

_ “do it if you must.” he responds. you look down at your hand, the gold ring still wrapped around your middle finger.  _

armitage. 

you had seen him a number of times after the incident. you are still his assistant. but when you were around him you tried to think of anything and everything but him. anything but what happened. thinking about ren and training and anything but him. the one time you did hux walked to you as you were leaving, shutting the door. 

“general hux i have to leave.” you say, tears welling i. your eyes again. one hand on your saber. ready to ignite it if you have to.

“please just listen to me. words alone cannot express how sorry i am. she came into me. nothing else ever happened just please- forgive me y/n” he pleads. his voice breaking. a tear falling down his cheek.

“just let me leave armitage.” you choke out. he lets go of the door, letting you leave. you rushed back to ren’s quarters and changed quickly into training clothes. 

“i need to practice.” you say to him. he stands to follow.

“alone.”

and that’s how you ended up on the floor of the training quarters, equipment destroyed, sobbing.

you had been practicing with a droid, practicing saber techniques. thinking about armitage. you were fueled with anger. slicing the droid in half, destroying all the other equipment at it. dropping to the floor, into your knees. the tears streaming down your face, shaking. taking the ring off to hold it in your palm. his voice rings through your head.

_ “my girl.” _

you collect yourself and slip the ring back onto your finger. walking back to yours and reba shared quarters. 

“there’s going to be a party tonight. do you want to go?” ren asks as you walk into the room. 

“fine. we’ll go.” you say.

“first though.” you walk to him on the bed and straddle his hips. kissing him. his hands slide under your shirt, on your back. he deepens the kiss and grinds his hips upward into you. you pull away and get off of his lap. going to to take a quick shower.

you get ready. putting on your makeup, making yourself look elegant, you have to, being alongside the supreme leader. a long strapless black dress with a long slit up the side, exposing your leg. a red corset over the dress. 

“you look lovely.” ren smiles, wearing a black suit. he escorts you to the party. 

hux was there of course. with someone. some other girl.

_ it boiled your blood to the core. _

you squeeze rens arm. 

“don’t pay attention to him.” 

“i’ll try not to.” you say, walking away to get drinks for the two of you. bringing one back to ren. he makes sure to make eye contact with hux before kissing you on top of the head. 

hux sends glares in rens direction. rens drink is knocked out of his hand. 

hux puts his arm around the other girls waist. 

you check the time. 

11:57 pm. 

_ how long to you have to be here? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really am just spilling out chapters. chapter 7 will probably be out later today (today as in july 15th). hope you enjoyed!


	7. facts about “why are you here?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> decided to take a small break from posting chapter 8 yet and post a chapter of facts about myself and the fic

i know it may not seem like it but the timeline is a bit longer

chapters 1-2-3-4 that is a span of two days

between chapters 4-5 it’s three days

chapter 6 is about a month or so later. i don’t like specifying times.

chapter 8 takes place about a week or so after chapter 7.

i wanted armitage to be a lot more gentle than ren. more soft. he will have rougher/ harsher moments. 

the beginning wasn’t originally written the way it was. the begging was originally written describing hux. 

i am thinking of writing a sequel already. it wouldn’t be posted until why are you here is finished.

it is set towards the end of the last jedi and in between the rise of skywalker. 

all of the smut scenes are based on dreams i’ve had.

this was originally supposed to be a kylo x reader. 

the fic came about due to a tik tok comment. 

i had commented something about starting one, and i didn’t know anybody would be interested but someone was, so i had to write it.

this is the most i’ve written for a fic ever. i normally delete all of them. 

it’s a bit of a modern au? but not enough to classify it as such.

i have been reading fanfic since i was 12. the first ship i read was drarry. (classy right)

of all my hobbies i never expected writing to be the one everyone wants more of.

the plot for the fic came about while i was in the shower listening to machine gun kelly.

my friend eggsy reads every chapter before it goes out on any platforms

it is posted on wattpad, ao3, and tumblr. 

i wasn’t originally a big hux stan, but now i am. 

i used to have ginger hair. (i may go back. idk though.)

i am a natural platinum blonde 

i work at a movie theatre!

writing has always been a hobby of mine. just it turned to fanfic writing in the 8th grade.

i am going to be a senior in high school.

i want to go to college for acting.

i idolize freddie mercury.

i have a hux playlist and a fic playlist. i can link them at the bottom!

i am a cosplayer andy post them on tik tok. my tik tok is @cocaineskarsgard

i have a bucky barnes fic in progress!

i feel bad for my fic seeming rushed even though i know there’s a timeline. 

there’s a lot more plans for this one.

there is going to be a happy ending.

playlist links

hux- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3da261jTzCQXgeSx5YzbpB?si=jVqE3zEGRUK1YiuIox00ew

why are you here- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3zCBSyswDfZl5NxmTCddxu?si=r4Q2GftmQhOEGmiNyt-KWA

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 8 will be up soon!!


	8. why are you here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> listen to the song “why are you here?” by machine gun kelly while reading.

_ i hate that i saw you again last night _

_ you were with somebody and so was i. _

hux looks over to you, and you know that look. you had seen it in many others before. the one that says

_ meet me in the bathroom. _

you check the time again.

12:05.

you meet hux in the bathroom. he was in a moment after you were. he looked at you. 

“you look nice.” he smiles.

“so do you.” you respond. 

“how have yo-”

“stop the chit chat and just fuck me already.” you say, kissing him roughly. he locks the door, holding you against it, one of your legs wrapped around his waist. his hips grinding against yours. arousing you.

he lifts you up and sits you on the counter. pushing your legs open. he lifts your dress up. his head dipping in between your thighs, kissing and nipping at the inner skin. marking you again. this action alone could make you orgasm. he slowly teases your pussy with his fingers, coating them in your wetness before sliding them into you. this had never happened with him before. his fingers felt so good inside you. his tongue licking your clit. sucking softly. he stands up and kisses you, his fingers curling inside you. making you moan. you reach over and pull his cock out, stroking it slowly. 

“please general- fuck me please.” you beg.

he growls and pulls his fingers from you. pressing them against your mouth, you part your lips and suck your wetness from them as hux lines his cock up with you, slowly pushing into your cunt. making you moan louder. hoping the music can drown out your noises. he pulls his fingers out from your mouth and starts fucking you. hard. although his kiss is gentle, he’s wrecking you. you would be sore tomorrow. 

you wrap your arms around his shoulders, locking your legs around his waist. he moans against your lips.

“fuck i’m gonna cum-” he moans. pounding against you recklessly. again and again. you reach down and run your clit. your walls squeezing around him, whining softly. he moans softly into your ear as he fills you. your orgasm coming shortly after. he pulls out. a bit of his cum dripping from you. 

“is this your way of forgiving me?” he asks. adjusting himself so he doesn’t look like he just fucked someone.

“not at all. you’re here with someone else.”

“ah but i’m not. she knows the deal. i paid her to help me make you jealous.”

“but i’m with ren.”

“leave him.”

you look hux up and down.

“i’ll think about it.” you say, exiting the bathroom. walking straight to ren.

“i’m gonna head to bed. i’m not feeling so hot.” you lie straight to his face.

“alright.” he says. you don’t go to the shared quarters. you go to your own. laying on the bed.

_ met you in the bathroom at 12:05  _

_ and i fucked you again _

_ we can never be friends _

hux thanks his guest and heads to your quarters. knocking on the door. you open it.

“yes armitage?” you say.

“look i don’t know how i am supposed to say this but- you’ve been on my mind since the first time we were alone in this room. since the first time i had touched you. i want you and only you. i haven’t been the same.”

_ i’m not myself. _

_ i’m not myself when you’re around though. _

_ can’t be helped _

_ we are insane that’s just the way it goes. _

_ “ _ i just can’t figure out the words to say much of anything to express how i feel for you. your touch leaves my skin in flames and i cant picture myself without you. there are not enough words to express how sorry i am for everything. i should have stopped quinn sooner but i was tired. i had just gotten back from a trip and i wanted to get out of those clothes and just see you. i wanted to feel you in my arms, i wanted you to be mine.”

_ i’m a demon in the night _

_ she’s an angel with the white. _

_ told me keep on all the lights _

_ ima show you what you like _

“i wish i could be with you ever hour of everyday and i wish i could tell you everything that i haven’t. and i just want to hold you. i could kiss every inch of your skin. i don’t only want sex, i want to be able to love you. i want you to be mine and only mine, and that ring on your finger could be a wedding ring someday.”

_ help you put back on your clothes _

_ make sure nothings on your nose _

_ ain’t even tell my closest homies nobody knows. _

you sit on your bed, and armitage falls to his knees, tears welling in his eyes.

“please. please just forgive me. i will leave you alone for the rest of your days, you can have your old job back, anything you want. if you just forgive me.” 

_ i couldn’t cry _

_ i need to smoke i’m feeling sick inside _

_ from seeing you next to a friend of mine _

_ we didn’t speak but i read your mind _

_ both tellin lies  _

_ our alibis didn’t work this time _

his shoulders shake as he sobs, his head pressed into your legs.  _ remorse _ . he didn’t do any wrong. you were truly mad at the wrong person. the only way to be able to fully forgive him is to destroy the one who brought you here.

_ but could you bring yourself to do it? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve been planning this chapter since day one guys. i know that this fic seems so rushed and i apologize for that. everyone loves it and there will be more action in this. i just hope you all stick along for the end. it won’t come for a while. if it’s asked for, i may write a sequel? i don’t know. 
> 
> why are you here takes place during the last jedi, and in between rise of skywalker.


	9. ruthless

you continued your training with ren. sneaking around at night to spend time with hux. you couldn’t bring yourself to break things off with kylo yet. until the day it happened. 

_ ren was standing in the corridor, his hand outstretched, holding someone in the air. you were unaware of who it was. turning, you spot the bright orange hair above you.  _

_ “ren stop it! put him down!” you yell, shoving his arm. causing his actions to cease. he ignites his saber and goes to attack you with it. you ignite your own. blocking his strike. you push him back using the force, his boots sliding across the floor. ren goes to choke you. but you’re too quick. you do it to him first. _

_ you were powerful. _

_ “leave us alone and we won’t have anymore problems.” you call out to him. extinguishing your saber, sliding it back onto your belt. releasing your force grip on ren. _

it was over. your escapade with the supreme leader was done. millicent still following you around no matter how often you tried to get her to stop. 

heading to your office where hux was waiting, you hear a voice whispering to others.

“she is such a  _ slut.  _ she slept with supreme leader ren and general hux.” you recognized the voice immediately. walking up behind her.

“would you prefer blaster, saber, or for me to snap your neck?” you smile sarcastically. quinn turns and faces you.

“what? i’m only saying the truth.”

“you have ten seconds to decide.”

_ ten. _

“i’m not deciding shit.”

_ nine. _

“decide now before i do it for you.”

_ eight. _

“you aren’t going to kill me. you don’t have the guts.”

_ seven. _

“i clearly do since i put you in the medical wing for a week and a half.”

_ six. _

“but you could never kill me.”

_ five. _

“killing you will be as easy as riding a tauntaun.”

_ four. _

“that’s not the only thing she knows how to ride.” 

_ three. _

“quinn. i’m only giving you one last chance.”

_ two. _

“you’d be giving in to the dark side if you kill me. something we all know you don’t want.”

_ one. _

you ignite your saber and impale it right through her chest. quinn looks at you.  _ fear. _

“i give in. death can come easy when it’s at the hands of another.” you spit, pulling your saber from her, her lifeless body dropping to the ground. her friends look at you and disperse. 

you continue your trail to hux’s office. entering quietly, sneaking up behind him. you cover his eyes.

“guess who?”

“certainly not millicent.”

you laugh a bit. 

“is it y/n?” you remove your hands and kiss his cheek. 

“hello armitage.”

“hello darling. i need a favor.”

“yes?”

“would you be so kind to make me a cup of coffee?” he asks, taking your hand. you smile and nod, heading to the small coffee maker. you knew just how he liked it.

you brought it back to him and sit it in front of him. he thanks you softly and smiles at you. returning to your desk, you begin typing out a speech for him. he was ordered to give one by ren. he was nervous for it. you could tell. 

he was tense to say the least. his shoulders stiff as he sipped his coffee. you finished another paragraph and walk back to him. standing behind his chair. your hands on his shoulders.

“should we call it a day? you’re tense. you need a massage.” you speak softly. he reaches up and touches one of your hands. 

“yeah let’s go.” he smiles.

“how soon do you want me in your quarters sir?” you question.

“you should already be in there permanently. i had troopers bring your things.”

“we also now have another empty room on the ship.” you say.

“whose room was it?”

“quinn’s.”

you needed no further explanation. armitage just nodded and opened the door for you. the two of you leave, walking side by side. laughing at jokes.

as you entered your new quarters with hux, ones you were all too familiar with now. you start removing pieces of your uniform. 

“i need a shower. care to join me?” you smile, removing your undergarments. hux only responds with removing his top. you took that as a yes. proceeding into the bathroom. using the force to set the temperature. hux walks in, standing in front of you. he places his hand under your chin and makes you look up at him. he leans down and kisses you. you pull away and step under the water. he removes the rest of his clothing and follows suit. 

he wraps his arms around your waist and leans down to kiss your neck. you were grateful for these alone moments with him. he could be gentle. he was sweet.

“i have an idea darling.”

“what is it armitage?”

“a small vacation in mind. canto bight?”

“okay. sure.” you smile. you had never been to cantonica. hell you had only ever left starkiller that one time with ren. 

after your shower, you order him to sit on the bed. you grab some oils from your small collection and return, sitting behind him.

“i figured i would give you a massage. you seem so stiff today.”

he chuckles a bit. shaking his head. you kiss his neck briefly before pouring some oil onto your palms, rubbing them across his shoulders. massaging slowly, pressing your thumbs into where tight knots had built up. his face scrunching as you worked out the knots. soon enough he wasn’t so stiff, not as tense. armitage hux, was relaxed. you grab a small towel and wipe off the excess oil. wrapping your arms around his waist, placing your head on his shoulder. he kisses the top of your head and swiftly pulls you into his lap. 

“thank you.” he smiles.

“you don’t have to thank me.” you wrap your arms around his shoulders. 

“yes i do. just not with words.” he whispers in your ear before biting your lobe softly. he kisses his way down to your neck. licking over your sweet spots. hux lays you down, his hand now on your breast, massaging it softly. you bite your lip to contain your moans. he lowers his head to your other tit, licking over the hardening bud. he wraps his lips around it and sucks gently, softly dragging his teeth against it. he kisses the underneath of your tit and bites softly, you moan. the reaction you give him is enough for him to proceed. marking you. he kisses lower. lower. reaching your hip bones, he kisses them gently, teeth nipping at the skin.

“have i ever told you how beautiful you are?” he looks up at you. you shake your head.

“so beautiful. you are perfection.” he says softly before slowly pushing your legs open. kissing your inner thigh. he slowly kisses toward your clit. not touching his lips against it though. you wanted him to. you wanted him to pleasure you with his tongue and his fingers. you grew impatient, a few seconds felt like decades. 

he licks your aching clit, wrapping his lips around it, he sucks, your back arching into him. the amount of pleasure he could give you with just his mouth was insane. he continued to lick and suck at your clit. tasting you. he stops and hovers above you. he presses two of his fingers against your lips. you part your lips and suck on his fingers. coating them with your spit. you feel his hard cock pressed against your thigh. he lowers his hand, rubbing small circles over your clit. you reach down and slowly stroke his cock. rubbing your thumb against the tip. he slides his fingers inside you. the two of you moan. he slowly curls his fingers, you time each stroke you give him with each curling of his fingers. he kisses you gently. he fingers you faster. stopping for a moment. he pulls his fingers out, licking them clean. you line his cock up with your entrance. and he thrusts into you. roughly. he wanted you to cum. he wanted to feel you convulse and spasm around him. he drilled into you. fuck you would be sore tomorrow. 

“god you feel so good baby.” he growls into your ear. you attempt to cover your mouth but the force stops you. 

“i love hearing you moan baby. shows me that you’re enjoying yourself.” he purrs. slowing his thrusts.

“are you enjoying yourself darling?”

“yes sir.” you moan. armitage picks up the pace. with every other thrust hitting that sweet spot inside you. bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. his hands holding your hips in place as he ruthlessly pounds into you. 

“fuck i’m gonna cum-” you moan.

“beg.” he orders, wrapping a hand around your throat.

“please sir, please let me cum. i-i need it please!” you whine. he thrusts into you harder. hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

“you can cum baby. you’ve been a good girl.” he purrs. black and white spots cover your vision as you release. his hips still as he fills you, helping you ride out your orgasm. he thrusts a few more times before pulling out, laying on the bed beside you. he wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your shoulder. 

“how’s that for a thank you?” he smiles, you turn to face him. sitting up. he places his hand over yours.

“where are you going?”

“i want to put something on. i’ll be right back.” you smile, standing slowly, your legs feeling like jelly. you slowly walk to your shared closet, putting on a pair of black panties, and slipping on one of hux’s sweaters. it reaching the top of your thighs. the sleeves longer than your arms. 

walking back out to the bed, he looks you up and down. 

“you’re so gorgeous darling.” he says, sitting up. he grazes his fingers against your thigh. 

“you should wear my clothes more often.” he smiles, bringing your hand to his lips, kissing it softly. you lay down, and he holds you close and you sleep, enveloped by his scent.

_ could this be heaven? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this chapter meets your standards. i was struggling a bit with it. but hey. it’s here.


	10. speeches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> armitage gives a speech or two

today was the day for armitage to give his speech. it was to the whole order. he was nervous. dreadfully nervous. shaking even. you both showered together. with you reassuring him over and over that everything would be alright.

he dressed himself in his uniform, slicking his hair back, he looked neat, but he felt terrified. the time passed then the two of you headed to base, all the troopers and staff were there. you watched from behind him as he spoke.

"the end of the allegiance between the first order and other remaining systems is now exempt. we stand against them, as they have betrayed us. with each system failing us, we must obliterate them. end the resistance. the systems will stand with the first order or they will perish!” he speaks, his voice shaking. he was so afraid of messing up. 

the two of you headed back to the finalizer. as soon as the two of you stepped into your quarters, his breathing became frantic. he sat down on his bed, gripping his knees harshly, tears welling in his eyes, his throat felt like it was closing. armitage was sweating. he removed his coat, a high necked shirt remaining. you knelt by him. 

“armitage, are you okay?” you ask, your voice completely filled with worry. you knew what was going on, he was having a panic attack. you’d experienced them yourself. you grabbed him a glass of water and helped him take off his shirt to cool down. you knelt back down by him. lightly placing your hands on his, tears streaming down his face, he grips your hands tightly. 

“i cant breathe.” he swallows. you squeeze his hands. helping him breathe. he eventually calmed down enough to talk to you. sipping on water. it hurt you seeing him like that. he was hurting. he was afraid.

“i cant keep fighting with this.” he speaks, his voice low.

“fighting with what love?”

“the first order.”

your breathing stilled. you looked up at him.

“what do you mean?”

“i have to confess something.”

“armitage, before you say anything. i would follow you to the ends of the galaxy and any system in the universe if it meant i could be with you forever.”

“i’m a spy for the resistance.” he says. you could almost see the weight come off his shoulders. 

“darling, i-i don’t know what to say.”

“if you want to end things now, i understand if your devotion is completely to the first order.”

“my devotion is to you armitage.”

he smiled.

“i’ll join you.” you say, softly. he holds your face, looks into your eyes. he whispers.

“i am so incredibly infatuated with you.”

you blush. kissing his lips softly. he pulls you up onto his lap. wrapping his arms around your waist holding you in a tight hug. you could read his thoughts, he wanted to say it. he wanted to say the four letter word. he didn’t though. it was killing him from the inside out without having you know what he really wanted to say.

“armitage, you can say it.”

“were you in my head?”

“armitage. please say it. i want to hear you say it.”

his eyes scan your face. brushing a stray hair behind your ear, looking into your eyes. he smiles.

“you have no idea how much you mean to me. you are my light, you fill me with so much joy, you make my heart skip a beat, you make me feel warm when the whole world feels like ice, and not to mention that wonderful pussy of yours.” he pauses, you laugh.

“from day one, when i first read your thoughts in that closet, from the first touch. with every touch you placed on my skin, it set my soul ablaze. you made me feel things that nobody had ever felt before.” tears were in your eyes. happy tears, you had never been told anything like that before. he wiped away your tears with his thumbs, kissing your lips gently.

“y/n, my darling, my sweetheart, my babygirl. i love you. with all my heart, from your head to your toes, i love you. i love everything about you. i love you. and only you.”

“i love you too armitage.” you smile, pressing your forehead against his, gently kissing him. 

that night, the two of you made love, he was gentle and sweet, tender, holding you close, whispering sweet nothings to you, soft praises, his gentle moans filling the quiet air. he told you he loved you so many times that night. and you always said it back. after the two of you finished, he cleaned you up, and held you close as the two of you slept. 

you couldn’t be happier.

_ i love you armitage hux. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH THE I LOVE YOU!!! ITS FINALLY HERE!!! i’ve been waiting to write this one. it’s been a struggle to write this, i’ve been having severe writers block, and i’m so sorry for the wait!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please let me know what you think! i hope you all enjoyed it!! chapter two will be up soon!


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